Saddest and most hurtful things to me has been knowing who believed in me, but being helpless to enjoy this life with them truly. And I'm most scared I'll never even get to share a smile with them ever again.

I'm so fucking sad, I just want to have them in my arms again. Every little thing they knew to do, to flow light and joy in me, I miss so greatly like each time it was a million heavens pouring out all of their treasures in to within me.

Crying right now.