>>/5283/
You are severely mentally ill but I'll help you out.
1. The "energy" only gets sent the moment you ejaculate, and only if you're actively thinking of the woman, and more importantly WANTING to send her energy, so jerking off to yourself in the mirror is pointless. In my experience the best results are when you imagine cumming inside her and actively agreeing to give her your seed (like youre enthusiastically agreeing to impregnate her). This whole thing is called Sex Magic btw.
2. You can just deny giving anyone any energy when you nut, youre not automatically losing anything just because you came. Like I said above you need to actively WANT to give it to someone.
3. The bad feelings after the nut may be because the woman doesnt want the energy. I know exactly what you're talking about, but I must say in your case it's 50% that and 50% some mental illness you have, maybe autism. You need to figure out which one of those it is. Ive also experienced the feeling of being watched by the woman who didnt want my energy, and in my case I just didnt give her any more and that was that.
4. Shooting your energy like a kamehameha is severely autistic, but what you're experiencing is the power of Want. That shit is all mental, so clenching your fist and staying away from your pillow is just retarded. As you get better at it you'll be able to do it all in your head via willpower.
5. I personally do the same thing with Agatha. I'll have a 2-3 hour jerk session, and then pull up a pic of her and imagine her finishing me off with her feet. I think the magic also partially works if you additionally imagine your sperm somewhere on her skin. The more passion you have for that part the stronger the effect, hence why I chose her feet personally. I have been doing this for like 2 years now, and since I'm somewhat proficient, I direct my energy towards wanting her to come back online and back to making videos, or at least having a decent\public online presence.
Again, you have some mental illness and autism, but you are on the first step of enlightenment.