still got my usual, but this time i put a bread & butter pickle in it again
it actually tastes pretty good, its a nice treat at the end after eating the olives 
this week i've been feeling like shit still, allergies are horrific from the rains, and the arthritis in my back is flaring up too
since its been getting cold, my room is a constant 70f, which might seem hot to you northern fucks, but its cold as fuck to me
its good for storage though, but this year i didn't grow anything in the garden
i'm also currently watching "Farzar" right now, its alright, it gets a lot better later in it's later season, and just as i say that i'm sure it'll turn to shit anyways 
 >>/42589/
talking about paranoia, i'm a very paranoid person myself
even before i started drinking or smoking i was a very paranoid person, and just the same, i had severe depression & mania too
i've always sort of had nightmares about terrible things, in a way, i just got used to them
about a few times a month i'll have dreams where i'll kill someone / multiple people, its very common & has been going on for a couple decades now, and since i've been watching gore videos from a young age too, they tend to be as realistic as dreams can get
i try not to worry about it, not that i even can to begin with, not much fazes me anymore