drunk off a fair bit right now, wine, gin & tonic, and st.germains; i ate an ice cream in the shower because i felt like it, it was really fun, i recommend it  
on a side note, i've actually been trying to stave off the drinking recently, i like it & all, but my PTSD makes me a shitty person when i've gotten 15+ shots in me, and i start to sleepwalk, so the roommate is really concerned 
when i'm really drunk i just turn in to such a particular person, its one thing when i drink a normal amount, i'm a chill & fun guy; but its another when i'm running away from it all, i just become an angry, terrified, paranoid monster
i wanna quit on that, i don't need to be evil now, i don't need to kill people anymore, no man is putting a gun in my hand & telling me to kill all in sight 
i'm in a different place now, and every day more, it becomes a different time, its just not required 
anyways, i skimped out on the treadmill today, feel bad about it, my excuse is that i was tired when i woke up; i'll do in in the morning / my afternoon
my sleep schedule is so fucked up, private security really shits you out on that front, great money though, really, i got more than enough to spare after the shit i done every day & night 
 >>/46879/
yeah, unless they're tamed, they're scared of people
i've interacted with tamed deer though, they act just like farm animals 
 >>/46888/
i'm doing great where i live right now, nightmares are at an alltime low, i recently had an "interesting" dream too, i'll talk about it later 
if i were to kill myself, you'd see it on the news; don't worry about it, man, seriously
if i ever do die, it'll be by something inane, like swallowing a wasp & dying by it stinging my lungs or getting annihilated in a carcrash via a semitruck 
i just like to give the threads a bit of time to build up, i don't wanna spam it with me being some insane drunk idiot 
i plan to do another outing in the forest trail, but farther than i gone before, it'll be in a bit though, so don't hold your breath 
 >>/46889/
depends on the season
on one season they're absolutely terrified of you, you're their waking nightmare
on the next, you're just some dumb hopeless pissant in the way between deer pussy & immortality 
deer are stupid animals, they're just like people 
 >>/46890/
what did wine you open?