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> when i'm really drunk i just turn in to such a particular person, its one thing when i drink a normal amount, i'm a chill & fun guy; but its another when i'm running away from it all, i just become an angry, terrified, paranoid monster

That's actually more common then you think. Excessive alcohol consumption can be as bad of an experience and as damaging to your cognitive state as using hard drugs. If you are drinking large amounts of alcohol you should dose it by time periods. For example 4oz or booze every hour but no more than that. Otherwise you are binge drinking and that can entirely fuck up your mental state (I've learned this by experience myself).

> i've interacted with tamed deer though, they act just like farm animals 

Cool, I've never had the pleasure of seeing a domesticated deer before. Where I live (Missouri) they are often hunted so they are instinctively terrified of human beings.