/haven/ - Haven

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 >>/15/
So that's why there are a bunch of jews in the banner of this board. Altough I admit I like this one better (and that's not because I can decypher some vampiric symbolism in it.)
> Earth has had 7 periods. The first was Raa, and this is where the earth vampires originate.
Even tough the vampires were there from the beginning, they are not actually native? This reminds me of the story of Cain in both Christian and Luziferian lore. As Cain is said to be the very first vampire, but he was not of this world and not like the humans. Supposedly being the son of Lucifer the Lightbringer or bringer of enlightenment (also from outside), he was there from the beginning of known earth history. He has rebelled against the mundanes and against "god" as he never felt like he was part of the place and he didn't want to obey, going even as far as killing his own brother Abel (which is probably just a metaphor for killing his own mundane/human side and becoming a nonhuman immortal).
But the current matriarch is only from the Babylon period...guess the cabal might have had influence in creation of the song "Babylon Vampyres" then lol. All this lore is interesting but I doubt it will bring me closer to anything, for example the actual cabal. Unless you are skillfully hiding cryptic messages in your post which the fool that is me must uncover.
I will go now and meditate as my issue is solved and I don't want to intrude anymore of your time. There has been a strange astral place appearing in my mind that I want to explore, but the further I go in the harder it becomes to progress. A real challenge.

 >>/16/
Putting this together into a functional understanding has taken years of research into different views and statements. It's in no way complete, so I don't want to be too firm in what I say. It's vague so that you may understand it yourself, maybe recall something of your past lives, and perhaps add to the image.
All I can do is reach a conclusion of some sort, then ask different entities
> is this correct?
> was this how it was in this historical period?
Oftentimes they are unable to reply when asked too complex or wide questions because the understanding that gave rise to the question itself is flawed or irrelevant. Imagine someone asking stupid things all the time, because they lack all kinds of basic information about the topic? 
You'd have to start by saying
> first off you're wrong about this, this, this and this
> and the reason you're asking is not relevant either
so the only way to go about it then becomes to teach something practical. That's how you end up with very narrow and seemingly pointless manuals for how to call on such and such demon or something else that doesn't explain shit.
Just my viewpoint right now.

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 >>/17/
> Imagine someone asking stupid things all the time, because they lack all kinds of basic information about the topic?
I fear nobody here would know better than you as you have been dealing with the same stuff for many years and many many threads now as far as I can tell.

Putting together manuals, exploring history and lore and trying to find clues to the cabal and other things... it all makes sense when you are actually trying to force your way in from outside and you don't really "belong" or whatever. But when someone, as you have said, should be here or belongs here, if this is your bloodline then it doesn't make sense why it should be so tedious and hard. In that case I think it would make more sense for the Cabal to just teleport to your house and take you to their castle where they add you and explain everything important. At least you made it back home by taking the spell and making it, this is already something great to have achieved by yourself. But maybe my way of thinking is just juvenile and spoiled. This would of course eliminate all the elements of the hunt and achieving progress and wisdom yourself, like getting in telepathic contact with them first. (As I understand it the Cabal are first and foremost a physical entity on earth so I would assume they would rely more on physical means of meeting and communication, altought they would probably be able to teleport and switch into at least the ethereal layer outside of the physical.) But then again Harry Potter would probably not achieve much if he was left with his idiot degenerate family and Hagrid didn't come to take him to Hogwarts. 
In the end I think it would be most wise to assume you don't actually belong there and if anything you are just forcing your way in. In this way, you will not become lazy and not expect anything to happen or be done for you. Instead you always have to progress on your own with all you have got at this very moment, do the best you can do by yourself. This way you keep evolving and having real progress with your own real power and not stagnate. Now that I feel into this, I can clearly feel the difference between believing you belong here and you should be here and believing you don't belong anywhere and you have to achieve everything on your own. I can clearly see how the former can create an attachment and has the chance to make you lazy and create expectations, while the latter just fires you up to try the best you can do right now.

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 >>/18/
This comes back to something I call "the 7% success rate" and Snail called "the universe of pouring out blood".
When you practice, you can learn to do things accurately and you think you know how to do it. In track and field sports this illusion of the perfect performance is maintained. It works great for training soldiers, everyone thinks they are the hero who will win the battle by throwing the spear perfectly, outrun bullets and get to safety and so on. In reality all this does is create a mentality of not giving up. Once you think you can succeed 100% of the time, you will not accept it if you failed, but think 
> I am better than this, let's go again
and when the guy in front of you ran into the street and was shot, you think
> I am better than him
and you will run after him anyway. This is crowd control trickery, and unless you had contact with the army in a way beyond regular grunts, you may not be aware of it.

What I'm getting at here is that "getting in" is not done with 100% success rate, but with 7%. They created so many failvamps over the years, who could not become immortal and would just cause a mess in society and then die at 320 y/o or such. They would not know if someone was a success until 1000 year had passed, because the longest a failvamp had lived was around 800 years. Add that they may lose count of time so at around a 1000 they would start thinking this person will stay, and is worth teaching. We've been over this.
We've been let in based on the assessment of the higher ups only. Individuals, which makes us their pet project. Those further down in the heirarchy won't just accept us, they will wait 1000 years, then say the equivalent of 
> ok you can start washing dishes
This is why you feel you were not accepted. No one of us really was, except for the matriarch saying so and the rest following because an order is an order.

I hope this clarifies the situation.

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 >>/19/
Yes, I remember this. It has been explained before. I do hope very much that in 1000 years I will long be gone from the physical and live in other dimensions/the astral. In fact I want out of the physical right now as I can only see a dead end for both the physical world and my own physical life. I am aware of the new earth stuff, but maybe I should make a post on the other board in regards to this.
Something unrelated in the end: I tought for a long time that my aura was red but I guess it was just a stupid optical illusion that anyone with more than 2 braincells could easily realize. But it took me forever to realize that my aura isn't red, instead it starts off as a white light but when I look deeper into it it turns out to be either blue or green. Sometimes it's greenish, sometimes it appears more blueish. This made me think that vampires or witches auras were also said to be green, but green is also the aura of the color red. If you just hold a red object against a white or black background you could easily see the green aura of the red object appearing. Somebody a little bit more advanced can just look at the red bra pic above here and see if they can see the green energy from the red bra. Could it be that when we see a green aura from a witch or vampire, that we are actually seeing the aura of something red inside them that we cannot see? Maybe there is a red energy inside of them or maybe their astral body is red, but we can only see the green aura that comes off from the red stuff, whatever it is? The "Philosophers Stone" is said to be red, just as the "immortal body" or the "Diamond Body". Just an idea I've had today.