>>/25922/
Anon, your post was not intended for me-but it spoke to me...because I've been fighting a battle (for a while now) that is spiritual vs. intellectual; meaning I was raised in the Christian church (haven't been in a very long time though-not into all these 'mega-churches' that seem to be about anything but God/Jesus/Faith, etc..) and was a firm believer for moar than half my life. But these days due to what I've learned (particularly over the last 15-20 years) little by little my faith has eroded, and what I believe to be true or possible sometimes conflicts with the teachings of the church (not to mention organized religion hasn't got a real great rap these days-and rightfully so). 
So, if you know or can advise, what would you do if you were me? My life has been difficult (and yes, there's always someone who has it so much worse, I know) and painful and lonely and it only seems to get worse by the day...literally. Being immersed in this darkness doesn't affect me all that much because most of it does not come as a total surprise...as I am accustomed to seeing and expecting the very worst of most people. I really don't know what to do or what to think/believe anymore. 
*weary sigh*