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Sam still posts regularly on reddit. He no longer drags Lara into his BBC fetish because he came to the realization that he never loved her in the first place. You do not break a girl's heart over a $10 loan for McDonalds while courting a hundred other girls on a Chinese dating app. When he faced this essential truth, he was able to move on with his life.

Now he simply focuses on other things in life. He is currently upset due to his beloved Glasgow Celtic's loss in the Scottish Cup Final but that will not be enough to bring him to drink alcohol or to break his incredible nofap streak.

This will be the year he passes his driving test (finally). And the year he accepts that professional fighters cut weight.