>>/149250/
 I hold myself to a higher standard that's why I said that I'm better than this. When you get older you're going to realize that they're far more valuable things than a partner than their body count. And shaming someone for their body count is just silly. I didn't date her because she had a low body count. I dated her because I thought she was one of the most remarkable people I've ever met. Her and I are very similar in a lot of ways. That's kind of why we clicked as well as we did. We both kind of need a stepping stone in order to abandon our previous relationships. I didn't have one prepared, that's what made it harder for me to walk away. But I did in december, and that's what afforded me a much cleaner break until I found out some of the shit she had done. When I recognize the signs that she was cheating in december, and I became aware that she wasn't telling me that she wanted to take a break because she wanted to come back after a little bit of time but because she just wanted to end a relationship and was scared to do it so she dragged it out. 
Candidly, as soon as I recognized what exactly was happening, I went and started hooking up with one of my old flings. That's why I'm very particular about the dates at which she spelled out the status of our relationship. Once she said that we were no longer exclusive I had absolutely no problem hooking up with my ex. 
A very similar thing happened in the middle of may. She misinterprets my reaction to be that I am obsessed with her and I am trying to get her attention back by acting erratically. That's not at all the case. I'm acting erratically because I'm a fucking lunatic especially right now. I got shit going on that doesn't need to be discussed right now however it is impacting my regard for consequences or harm for myself and others. She doesn't deserve what I put her through. But she also doesn't deserve to walk away without some bruises. She did some unconscionable shit that you should never do to somebody who you claim to love.

Regarding the whole debit card thing, that was blown wildly out of proportion. I exaggerated the fuck out of that but I was bitter about one particular situation. She said she wanted to break up one weak and I said that that was okay and I started talking to another girl and when she found out she got upset and wanted to get back together but before she found out that this girl had coincidentally popped up at that time, she had asked me whether or not it would be okay for me to still give her money for her and her friend to hang out and get drunk and by Vapes that weekend and I thought that was really crass considering her concern at that point wasn't the pain or harm that she calls me by promising that she would try to make this relationship work but instead to ensure that her and her friend could get drunk and that she could post on 4chan while drunk that weekend. That really bothered me. It still bothers me for some reason. So when I was really fucked up the other day and posting about this shit, I got a bug in my crawl about it and it came out way worse than it should have and I did not explain it nearly as well as I should have in hindsight I really shit the bed on that one and that deserves to be withdrawn from the discussion entirely especially because I entirely said that it was okay both sides of the situation. I told her that she could still have the money if we were broken up or together. But I could see now why she would have stayed with me at that point simply to ensure that she had that money which is kind of shitty but also whatever. 

I can already read the comments about me being a huge simp. I'll handle that for you so we can save the comments from happening. 

I'm a huge simp. 
If I love someone and I have faith in them and even if it's not in that moment, if I know that they have great potential but in the moment they are failing to meet that potential, I am willing to exhaust myself to Foster an environment that will help them become the person I know they are capable of being and if I'm fortunate