> BPD Eyes?? Am I crazy?


> Can we talk about the "BPD eyes"? Has anybody looked into their BPD's face during a rage or disassociation or devalue/splitting episode and detected something... off? I'm even tempted to say demonic, although I'm not one to believe in that type of stuff usually... but it really feels that way.  


> I would always notice that their eyes seemed 'off balance'. Like, the two sides were not in sync or something, sometimes one pupil would be bigger than the other, or one eye would seem passive while the other was fired up. Sometimes the pupils were black and I couldn't see the brown of her eyes anymore. It was like a cold, cold hate or anger, but just in the eyes. The rest of the face would be 'acting' whatever emotion she was going through, but behind it all the eyes stayed the same. I remember her telling me all the time how she was a Gemini (they seem to love astrology, especially as an excuse) and I thought at the time that I could see the 'bad personalities' taking over in her eyes during these weird episodes. It often felt like peering into the darkness, like I could see some evil-ness taking over her mind...  


> It sounds super weird and spooky, but I'm just wondering if anybody else has seen this. It was sometimes accompanied by a smirk, like an evil little smile almost. My ex once actually said, quite truthfully and objectively (after one of these episodes):  


> When I'm like that, I want to hurt you and I'll say or do whatever will hurt you the most. It is intentional in the moment. I know what hurts you most, and I do it on purpose, because I want you to feel as bad as I do.  


> That's the exact 'feeling' I would sense from behind those eyes. Like a predator's gaze almost. Anybody know what I'm talking about?


Uh... nevermind, it might really be an early sign of her BPD.