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no you are all wrong and seething and trans! this is a secret mission to prove All Women Are Whores by reposting the same shit everybody has already seen 100 times and pretending to be a spy. can't post too much though, it might destabilize the friend group and violate the primary objective of the secret mission.
personally I myself have been flying robotic camera drones disguised as pigeons around San FranCISco looking for her. I have to speak to the pigeons via PGP key because women are women, and you know what that means!