Are my feelings of platonic love for you really that out of line, Chan? You came into my life at a dark point and you gave me something I needed desperately. Someone to talk to. Someone I related with. Someone that listened. How would I not care about someone that helped me like that? I am only trying to help you the same way you helped me. Even while you cut me down and hurt me in the process. I forgive you for all of that. All that matters to me is your happiness and well being. If I really believed that you'd be A-okay if I fucked off and left you alone then I would. But I just don't believe that. I believe you push those closest away when you need them most. It's a defense mechanism. It's denial. But I'm not going away, I'm not going to leave you alone. Not until I know for sure you're in a better place, that you're off the drugs.

Please just talk to me, Chan.

I love you, as my friend who helped me thru one of the darkest periods of my life.