>>/21797/
 >>/21798/
It's okay. No need to apologize, and I understand why it's so uncomfortable. I'll refrain from calling you a victim but just know that this guy is actively gaslighting you and shifting all blame for his reprehensible actions onto you. Regardless of any other details of your relationship, that alone is grounds for never speaking to him again. You have an extremely unhealthy attachment to him due to being lonely and desperate. I do empathize with you and I can't help that. You have minimal experience and didn't process red flags in the way an average person would. Everything you've described here tells me you were extremely socially stunted and negatively influenced. I know you take responsibility for what you've done, and that's good, but it does not mean you deserve all of this, or that you do not deserve to move past this terrible relationship/obsession. And it definitely doesn't mean you deserve to be blamed for a pedophile's own actions. 

 >>/21800/
I really wish you luck. Please, for the love of god, try to not look at those awful /b/ threads trying to reply to Nick. Go no contact. It will be hard but worth it.