>>/42579/
The difference is that the female lead is about on the same looksmatch level as the male mc. And harem shows, and shows where it's a beta mc with a "model" type woman are frowned upon, critically.
Another reason why it's different is men don't expect their fantasies to play out IRL, but women do. Women really will expect the top 1% Chad to lust for them, and get upset when they can only get their looksmatch.