>>/62192/
thank you . exactly... i know youve been through the same shit cause thats exactly what i feel too. i just dont want to deal with it anymore. before trying drugs it was hard, it was hard with drugs too but i had goals and rewards for myself, if i hated something too much id rather get high then hurt myself... now "sober", when im bad i always look for drugs. i dont know how many times ive looked all around my room for the tiniest bit of substance of any kind.. i just dont want myself. i cant be alone with her. shes so exhausting. and im scared to tell doc cause i dont wanna stay in the hospital again it literally made me worse all my schedule and routine is fucked and i missed on a lot of class shit

 >>/62196/
yess... now i dont like meth for example because i tjink it affected me a lot different than a lot of people at the crib, i wasnt more talkative or relaxed, i just played some games with a dude that had a laptop and controllers from night to morning. no sexual desire change, no confidence like the others. maybe its because i already take methylphenidate (concerta) and may have developed some kind of tolerance? the only meth fiend thing i did was to carpet surf but hey im not gonna waste it.
anyways im tryna say i LOOOOVE downers. like they dont make me lie dead, they made me help not be selectively mute esp around men. it helped me talk to people which i have missed a lot because i dont tlak to them anymore. i think junkies are generally good people because they have higher empathy and have nothing to lose in general. i miss that lifestyle so much. now i have to act some sort of way all the time just so people dont laugh at me. UGH. 

im safe...
 >>/62249/
thank you. you guys have no idea how much i smile when i hear i make you happy and shit. i literally thought i had no worth other than my body but you all and other throughout the years thaught me that. i generally dont get help from other people but this was so nice. 


can u loan me 50 too