Surprised to have never seen anyone comment on Marky’s drawings of children and her obsession with lolis (especially Higurashi) to be an obvious sign of childhood sexual abuse. She’s not a pedrophile, though childhood sexual assault can make victims have difficulty imagining themselves sexually outside of the role of a child. I’m aware of her Masterchan ties but it is clear that she and Roberto were not in a healthy relationship, and he was into little girls and made her act like one which she thought was fine at the time due to her childhood. On top of that she wound up used and abused by Sam Hyde of all people just to be discarded.
And Higurashi is a story about PTSD related to childhood abuse more or less. It feels deeply unfair to call her a pedrophile when she’s just unhealthily coping with having been sexually abused as a child. That is a lot different from wanting to have sex with children, which Marky doesn’t want to do. It’s weird, yeah, and she really should stop it and find a therapist who won’t just redirect her to a psychiatrist or shove millennial self love mantras down her throat.
Marky, really, sorry you went through so much but also you should seek help, someone you can be genuinely open with in private who only knows what you choose tell them. I feel bad even just writing this, it feels truly disgusting to say these things publicly but I do hope it resonates and you can tell I am not writing this out of malice or any kind of perversion. You are at the point in life where you have to heal otherwise it will only get harder for you to live and maintain any kind of connection. Please seek therapy. It isn’t all jews trying to get your money, find one who specializes in CSA.
If you really don’t want to go to therapy there are plenty of online resources and good books you can access in the meantime, and I recommend checking out DBT books. Unlike CBT, DBT has been proven to help dramatically with trauma. I am rooting for you and hope you will take the proper steps towards healing inside and out. I hope your relationship with your family has improved but I don’t blame you if it hasn’t. I know work gets crazy and you have no time for your hobbies and I’m sorry. Please heed my advice and set some time aside for yourself and try to find a good therapist or download some of these books. Trauma affects everything even when you feel okay. It’s worth putting lots of effort towards healing yourself and your inner child. Everyone makes mistakes and you had bad enough luck to end up in the position to have those mistakes voyeurized by a ton of vultures during your most formative years. It’s not fair, oh well, but you have the whole world at your fingertips and you can overcome it. You already have in some ways.
Sorry to write so much crap.