> haven’t felt the touch of another person in 3 years

well you could become the kind of person who others want to touch so bad that you can't even go grocery shopping anymore before someone losing it and grope you hoping you can be their missing puzzle piece and make all the horror in their life go away. i accidentally found out how to turn my inner light on and have that happen to me. people are but moths and nothing more. you could make that happen, that is one of your options. you may not know how yet but the possibility exists. you don't learn about it being normal though. normality can't add anything to your life but misery.

> will things ever get better ? will things get worse ?

if you find your inner wealth, your inner completeness, your inner connection you will at least feel good but the problematic nature of outside reality will only change, it will not get better necessarily, though a little at first before you lose respect for people. until you understand people are moths and you lose the willingness to let moths touch you.