>>/77351/
> would you like to be friends

people wanted to be friends with me all my life and i have learned that what most people consider friendship and what i consider friendship is so incompatibly different that using the word friendship to describe both these completely different concepts is a bad idea, a shortcut to disappointment so to speak.

you could say that there is this romantic idea of pure archetypical friendship with the pleasant feeling of mutual company and shared experiences. i agree this exists and it is even baked into the human emotions but this feeling quickly fades and turns into unfairness since most people don't care about the freindship and instead intend to abuse the romantic idea of friendship to turn it into a platform on which to install beneficial agreements. when people first meet you and like you, they are all warm, nice, pleasant and respectful of your boundaries, preferences and decisions. but as the facade of friendship begins to erode to expose the alterior motives, this respect will fade, disgraceful, urgency and emergencies increase and the generosity with which you accepted someone as a friend will soon be treated as a weakness to be capitalized and parasited upon.

then there is also the trajectory of the person who wants to be your friend. let's say i am on a positive improvement trajectory and the person who wants to be my friend is on a negative (self-)destruction trajectory, i already know now that i will literally driven apart from this person because the conveyorbelts i stand on and the other person stands on are driving in opposite directions. when i was younger i didn't know this. i just thought friendship is friendship. if you like someone and vibe with someone, i should be this person's friend. well it's not that easy i have learned.

i found out how to make lots of friends, that's easy to me and i am sure you will figure it out eventually. the thing i have to say that might surprise you is that having friends is not all that desirable and usually works against you. this state of being alone, not having friends, it really isn't all that bad i have found. when you become the person everyone wants to be friends with you expect it to be heaven but it is quite the disappointing place. i better not write too long because this might already reach tldr territory for you.