> be me > go to take a shit > sit on the throne for easily 20 minutes, and just can’t shit > can feel the turd pushing against the inside of my asshole > say fuck it and just take a shower > while in the shower I get an idea > soap up finger and stick it up my ass > feel something hard but not very big > get my finger behind it and pull it out of my ass, it hurts a little > suddenly I lose control of my bowels and a torrent of yellow-green liquid shit forces it’s way out of me > it burns > I drop to my hands and knees with my front half hanging over the edge of the tub > after a solid minute if shitting it ends > it takes me a few more to recover and stand up > shower as well as myself covered in liquid shit > I can only describe the smell as “sour” > turn shower up and hose myself down before stepping out to get some cleaner from under the sink > while cleaning the shower I find it > a hard as fuck turd the size and shape of walnut > stand there amazed that it was the only thing keeping the torrent of diarrhea I expelled in check > flick it into the toilet and flush it > finish sanitizing the shower then properly bathe myself