Hello, my name is Quote and this is my story. I am a British faggot of whom is living in a rotting brick house in Portland. I am the current admin of the notorious hacker website called soyjack.bait. Yesterday, I was jacking off to gay porn with my third worlder shitskin janny friends and joking about how nusoycucks leak at every bait and meme we make on /soy/ (the main board). Eventually talking point became the new Hunky Twinky Sex Machine, a pinnacle of technology. They wanted me to have one since they couldn't afford one.  After our sesh ended, I went to the website it was being sold at and bought the big one for 900 quid, It was worth it because I needed a male figure to dominate me. After that I went to my advisor 9a0c and asked him if I can host an event on sharty. After gerting an approval I then went to the mod panel and locked down soy to tunnell the traffic to /jager/ (the funny inside joke we have in our cord) surprisingly this did not work and people started posting on other boards like qa or pol of which I had never looked at thus leading me to bot the site to aid the dying PPH. After this shitshow I reverted all the changes and told my jan jans to psyop the soyim into thinking it was a hack and none of this was intentional, of course those retarded soyjack spammers immediately forgot about it and moved on. *Knock Knock* My package finnaly arrived, it was a skinny brown man with a dark blue hoodie. you fucking retard you don't know what you are doing do you? I washed it off as another criticism by the old man since he wasn't the owner anymore. I pressed the button in the center of the machine's chest and xhe started rattling just like my vibrator, It started talking: ^I wuz joined soyjack community in 2025 …o-okay? ^I is like gooning to female jannys would you like to do that in me bedroom? ^EPI EPI EPI I looked at the manual and get it into fucking me unexpectedly xhe grabbed the paper from my hand and screamed at me ^IS DA FUGGEN JARDY This scared me so much but also I had a horny feeling that xhe just might try to rape me. He then hold me from my arms. I will name you… ^KYS I IS GOING TO DOX YOU.  he instead threw me across the room. Then I realised how insane this thing was, I jumped out of my window, since im very fragile; jumping from the floor level broke my ankle. I am now trying to escape from this retarded machine that is now trying to kill me since noone ever on the streets at late times with the fear of rape noone is going to help me-ACKKK!!!