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---PART 2 - COMPLICATIONS---
I downloaded Musical.ly because I heard it was filled with cringe content, and I thought that was funny at the time.
I think I was 19 working night shift and life was getting me down and I wanted a distraction. (24 now.)
Literally the third video the algorithm recommended to me was '[Rose Lalonde] (how to cuss)'.
(I've had a thing for black lipstick since.)
Basically I was dumbstruck when I saw it.
I had read Homestuck recently and to see a cute girl who knows it was unbelievable to me.
(I didn't know anything about Tumblr cause I wasn't much of an internet user.)
In other words, I had encountered my first "e-girl". I wasn't really prepared for that, growing up in rural nowhere.
I watched her videos as they were uploaded for a short while and I enjoyed them a lot.
They felt like an truthful expression of nerdy, spastic joy and I didn't know anybody IRL who was such a nerd.
I honestly feel bad I never messaged her or commented on her posts. That's just how I was used to the internet.
Maybe I could have been a voice for reason, at least compared to the characters she would end up interacting with.
(weren't her eventual bfs both like 5 years older than her too?)
My life took a turn for the worse. So to escape, I took some really stupid work in Japan for almost a year.
(I thought I could learn it quickly and do something fun, but the work kept me too busy to actually study.)
The last video of hers I watched before leaving was '[Keith Kogane] (creatively)'
In Japan, I actually saw an advertisement for TikTok and I had no idea what it was.
Money-wise I wasn't doing very well, so I figured it would be best financially to move back home with my mum.
Then I continued studying at home while working various jobs.
This is where I first met her.
We had met a couple times a year since she began studying animation at a local college.
(The anime club we had at the time was very accepting of cosplayers.)
I wanted to go, but there was no one to make food for me.
I was a huge fan of [Erika Ikuta] and I saw her doing something that made me want to cry and I was too shy to ask her.
I thought maybe I'd be able to take part if I was the food, but I wasn't really in the right mindset.
(Also my stomach isn't very good. I didn't realize how much I'd miss my favorite food, Japanese ramen.)
I kept a few videos of her since then.
I wanted to be more active and reach out but I wasn't ready to talk to her or anything.
I figured I'd try her some time after the end of high school