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- - - PART 3 - THE END - - -
I'm still trying to get my head around the fact that bonbi is no longer a persona to me.
I can't get over the shock.
I'm really struggling to figure out what to do with myself.
I don't want to go back to my old life.
I do want to hang out with friends.
I really don't want to waste any more of my time on people who don't care about me anymore.
I honestly don't know how to find a job right now.
Even so, I still have a whole life to live and no one to live it with.
If this turns out as my last post, here's what I would have liked to write:
I would have said that I'm a little mad at bonbi.
And I'm mad at myself for not recognizing this sooner.
I'm mad at myself for letting her affect me so badly.
I'm mad at myself for all the time I wasted trying to love her.
I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused and all the damage I've done.
I'm sorry I couldn't keep up.
I'm sorry I abandoned her and all of you and the other 'Tardys'.
I'm sorry I hurt all the other people I had relationships with.
I'm sorry for everything I said and did in life that was not true.
I'm sorry for all the hours I wasted in bbg alone.
I'm sorry for the pain I've caused myself and everyone around me.