Why why why why must it be the case that the lyrics to many of her TikToks make the agony even worse? Such as the ones where she is declaring love to the camera or saying you'll never be alone. Those are soul shattering. Now I have become totally obsessed with her Monika Bumpy Ride clip. "You will never find someone like me." Yes... I KNOW. I AM AWARE.
I didn't become obsessed with her until last year, which means there are still a huge amount of her clips I haven't seen. Each new one I find and love is a new dart into my soul. A new wound, a fresh source of misery.