$500,000 'to turn monkeys transgender': Watchdog trashes government spendingwashingtonexaminer

July 02, 2022 04:20 PM

Watchdog group American Transparency is not pleased with how the government is monkeying around with taxpayer dollars.

In a review of federal discretionary spending over the past two years, the group discovered a number of federally funded projects such as studies on zombified cats, toilet cameras, and gambling pigeons. Here is a look at some of its most striking findings from the group's annual Where’s The Pork report.

$477,121 on transgender monkeys
A grant from the National Institutes of Health funded research that involved injecting male monkeys with hormones intended to transform them into female monkeys. The goal of the study was to examine the prevalence of HIV in transgender women: biological males who identify as female. Most of the monkeys used for the experiment were male rhesus macaques, according to a description for the study.

"Sadly, [transgender women] have some of the highest concentrated HIV epidemics in the world, with a pooled global prevalence of 19% and a 49-fold higher odds ratio of acquiring HIV than non-transgender adults," the description read.

Researchers noted that estradiol is one of the most common hormones given during gender transitions, and they said they sought to figure out whether that hormone could make people more susceptible to HIV infection. The funding was awarded in the 2021 and 2022 fiscal years, according to the Where’s The Pork report.

$465,339 on gambling pigeons
The government made a bet on a study out of Reed College in Portland, Oregon, that entailed trying to teach pigeons to gamble via slot machines. It is not immediately clear how participants in the study were able to goad the pigeons into gambling. Researchers hoped to gain insights into behavioral economics and conceded the study would focus more on "laboratory models rather than practical applications," per the project's description.

"The research aims to develop a laboratory-based system for examining behavior from an economic perspective," the description read. "Such perspectives have been fruitfully applied in recent years to substance abuse, gambling and other types of risky choice, finance, obesity, and self-control, among others, serving as an organizing framework for translational research that spans the continuum from laboratory to practice."

The project began in 2020 and will continue until 2023, according to the project's description. The National Institutes of Health awarded the grant.

$6.97 million on toilet cameras
Toilets are traditionally thought of as private spaces, but scientists insist that "to fully reap the benefits of the smart toilet, users must make their peace with a camera that scans their anus."

Stanford University researchers received funding to craft advanced technology to analyze one's bottom to gain data to assess the user's health. The researchers say that one's nether region can have as many 37 unique creases that can be used to craft an “analprint.”

In addition to scanning a person's bottom, the smart toilet would also use sensors to track defecation samples for different types of diseases and cancers. The National Cancer Institute issued the funding for the project. The study was announced in 2020.

$549,331 for "zombie" cats
In Russia, curiosity may have killed cats. Scientists at the Pavlov Institute of Physiology in Russia received funding from the National Institutes of Health to sever parts of the feline brain and use electrodes to control cat movements on a treadmill. Some 18 cats were used in the experiences, according to the Washington Free Beacon. The experiment, which was funded in 2021, was intended to gain insights into how the cerebral cortex functions, but the experiment drew backlash from Republicans.

"Our foreign adversaries, especially ones run by tyrants, should not be given U.S. tax dollars to conduct heinous animal research. This should be a bipartisan, common-sense position. As such, you must take swift and decisive action to bl