>>/4132/
Didn't mean to go on about my own shit in this post. but it reminded me of similar memories. 
> i can taste it, feel it in my mouth, running down my throat, 
part of me remembers organs and another part of me remembers feces. I don't know if it was a ritual context or a traumatic mind control thing. probably both. In your  >>/4130/  >>/4131/ case it appears to be the full gambit. this is awful but hey at-least your mapping out memories. You have a shitload. I have the clown mask thing and kind of the feces memory. The programming appears to work like a fever which i see why you like meditation. it sucks that people don't believe this stuff. And the psychotic episode is similar to how i recalled the being forced to eat feces memory. I had been trying to remind myself of it subconsciously to the point i was shoveling nesquick powder in my mouth and eating it dry. Maybe in meditation or life try and see any subconscious queue's your mind is giving you. Stay strong anon!!!