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> I feel like this a submissive stance to take.
It's not, If I put a standard on myself to find a virgin girl then that's on me. While you don't have that same standard that doesn't mean other people have such a standard. Placing limitations on yourself is the epitome of manliness as it makes you challenge yourself. If you lack the discipline to find a respectable women does that really make me the submissive one?

> If you aren't confident in your ability to satisfy a woman and make her yours then that's a problem. A true man should be able to make even a slut feel like a virgin when they're with them.
Again a man would have standards on what constitutes as a decent and respectable wife. A true man would never go near a slut because he would want to set an example on what a healthy and loving relationship would look like. He would act like a role model and strengthen his bond with his wife. 

> I find that men who of value virginity the most often have insecurities surrounding their manhood
If the only thing that matters to your "manhood" is how many women you've slept with then I believe your priorities are skewed. There's more to being a man than how many women you've slept with. Can you take care of yourself?, Can you take responsibility for your own actions?, Can you act confident? These are more important than promiscuity. 

> This can be most clearly seen in incel communities which instead of increasing their social value and skills seek to blame others for their inability to lose their virginity.
That community has more problems than their virginity though, That's the point you seem to not be getting. I want a virgin because I won't accept anything less. I've got a job a part time one but one none the less. Most Incels are simply NEETs who endulge in escapism and never try to improve themselves. Standards does not equal escapism. 

> Is there any proof to back this up? I feel that if a woman has been with multiply partners and deemed that you're the best then she's less likely to cheat. There's no curiosity of what's out there or what could have been.
Sort of related but this
https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2018/10/sexual-partners-and-marital-happiness/573493/
https://ifstudies.org/blog/counterintuitive-trends-in-the-link-between-premarital-sex-and-marital-stability/

> That's just degeneracy. Having multiply sex partners is fine if you know what you're doing but marriage is a exclusivity contract between two partners with no exceptions.
They're the same thing. A man having multiple sex partners. Marriage is the bond between a man and his wife. But who gives a shit about your wife when you've already had multiple sex partners. That's the equivalent of saying she's expendable for any of the other women you've slept with. At least in a harem there's some mutual agreement with the multiple women and the man so they all know that their bodies are exclusively for that man. I have a very specific view on love. I think it should be like it is in a fairy tale. A pure love that both the man and the women put their maximum effort in. Sure I may never find it, But lowering my standards to settle for something less just isn't apart of my personality.