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6. Look at policies and procedures first.
That starts the discussion on a professional level and prevents blaming a person’s distasteful attitude or sinister motive. Don’t place blame unless you made a mistake for which you apologize quickly and move on. If you both pay attention to each other’s needs when identifying options—your stand may depend on which side of the desk you sit on—each of you can feel you are exercising some control. At times all that’s needed is a simple change in the system.
7. Deal directly and discreetly.
You don’t want an audience for personal disagreements. Confront your accusers, tactfully putting your foot down when others are walking all over you. Get right to the point; a preamble of excuses or warm-ups robs your effectiveness. Choose face-to-face talks or phone calls over emails or text messages. After all, tone and inflection can be easily misconstrued in a written message. Still, it is a great tactic to follow up an oral dialogue with an emailed recap.
8. Document for self-protection.
Get potentially troublesome verbal agreements in writing to prevent the other party from reneging. On assignments you fear may be hazardous to the health of your career, keep your boss informed with periodic progress reports. Copy all relevant parties on emails, as evidence, in case a misunderstanding should occur. Create a separate Outlook folder, so that you may easily store and retrieve these messages for which you’ve created a “paper trail.”'
9. Be straightforward and unemotional.
The more you remain calm and matter-of-fact, the sooner you gain another’s confidence. People want to feel you’re leveling with them, that they can trust you. Remember that respect from others begins with self-respect. Don’t continue a conversation with anyone, even your boss, who refuses to give you the courtesy you deserve. You have options, such as asking for politeness or leaving the room.
10. Be gracious.
Someone else’s rudeness doesn’t give you the right to be rude. Turn a bad situation to your advantage by disarming the offenders, treating them with the kindness you’d like to be shown, sharing credit, and allowing others to feel important. Make friends with your enemies—you never know when you’ll need them. Others won’t have to run you down to build themselves up if you’re gracious in showing appreciation and giving recognition. When your own ego is healthy, you are rich. You can afford to be generous.