A Jew waltzes into his bathroom and finds his beautiful housemaid taking a shower. He asks: -Are you alone? -Yes, I am. -Do you like to fuck? -Yes, a lot. -Then go fuck someone else, that soap is mine. A beggar knocks at Isaac's door and says: -A few cents, for God's sake. -You can throw them under the door. John Paul II was worried that Poles had a reputation of being dimwits. He addressed this by gathering a team of the brightest Polish architects and engineers and asked of them a glorious feat that'd showcase Polish brilliance to the world. Some time later they return, announcing they have set the Tower of Pisa straight. -But that's a World Heritage Site! Undo that immediately and figure out something else. Months later they come to him with good news: they repaired the Colosseum. -No, why did you do that! Undo it and make me a true marvel. After a period they proudly note to him: -We've built the largest bridge in the world. -Where? Excitedly asked the Pope. -In the Sahara. -It can't be. Go back and dismantle it. A day later they come to him and say: -Father, we can't take down the bridge. -Why? -It's full of Portuguese fishermen trying to catch trout.