A Jew waltzes into his bathroom and finds his beautiful housemaid taking a shower. He asks:
-Are you alone?
-Yes, I am.
-Do you like to fuck?
-Yes, a lot.
-Then go fuck someone else, that soap is mine.

A beggar knocks at Isaac's door and says:
-A few cents, for God's sake.
-You can throw them under the door.

John Paul II was worried that Poles had a reputation of being dimwits. He addressed this by gathering a team of the brightest Polish architects and engineers and asked of them a glorious feat that'd showcase Polish brilliance to the world.
Some time later they return, announcing they have set the Tower of Pisa straight.
-But that's a World Heritage Site! Undo that immediately and figure out something else.
Months later they come to him with good news: they repaired the Colosseum.
-No, why did you do that! Undo it and make me a true marvel.
After a period they proudly note to him:
-We've built the largest bridge in the world.
-Where? Excitedly asked the Pope.
-In the Sahara.
-It can't be. Go back and dismantle it.
A day later they come to him and say:
-Father, we can't take down the bridge.
-Why?
-It's full of Portuguese fishermen trying to catch trout.