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> What God or goddess does Darth Vader act like?
Read the books and found out yourself. Abandoning family for career, fighting own children, trying to mold his son to be himself live through him. Take your pick.
> you said yourself that Hera does not fit)
I said not a perfect fit, and I suspect that other archetype(s) is/are in to play. They are Hera both in case of Snow White and Cinderella, and especially in the version of Snow White when the actual mother is out to kill her.
You see those chicks on youtube doing hunting or riding speedbikes or whatever boyish crap? Now they are Pallas Athene, The Daddy's Daughter, born from The Daddy's mind. For example.
> They aren't really parents though which is part of my point. Snow white's step mother is her step mother and kicks her out of home fairly early, she is not a parental figure and they don't even live with each other
This is the point. Hera isn't The Mother, she isn't a parent (what a shitty mom for Hephaestus she is), she can play the parent if that happens, but she isn't The Mother. Snow White's step isn't a mother either (the step-mother status further accenting this, especially if in the version told she is young), she is a wife (when she is the biological mother in the particular version, she doesn't take that role either, doesn't want it, she just wants to be The Wife, the only woman in the life of The Husband).