I'm thinking that I'm taking the wrong approach to dealing with this issue.
1) The customer is always right.
2) What do I want the license to do for me and for the customer?
3) Is there an existing license that accomplishes these goals?
4) If not how can I modify the current license or an existing FOSS license to give the customer what they want, while accomplishing what I want to accomplish?
5) What are the unique properties of my current license that I wish to preserve in a future license?
I will contemplate these bullet points and collect and compile relevant information.
One approach would be to remove all of the SJW content and simplify the license, and release a forked simplified Endware License. This approach would probably meet the criteria of removing redundancy, and make most people satisfied by removing the SJW pseudo-political messaging. I'll start this work next month after exams are over, when I have more free time. I'll keep track of these investigations in this thread.