fe.settings:getUserBoardSettings - non array given[pol] - Endchan Magrathea
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 >>/77782/
 >>/77783/
So firstly never be afraid to ask for advice, this is not cuckchan nor fedchan, the purpose of this place as well as this thread specifically is a refuge for fellow sons of Europa like yourself. Even if you cannot fully articulate your thoughts they will always be heard.

>  I’m currently getting into a career in which the job is very monotonous and boring but would give me enough to pay bills, buy groceries, and save enough to be somewhat decently and financially sound.
>  I live in a location that doesn’t allow me to indulge in activities or hobbies that I like, let alone having enough cash to enjoy them even if I had the chance pursue them. I can’t seem to socially connect with anyone, as if I try to engage, I will only get one-line responses. I know I need to get outside more, but there aren’t any areas where I live that I can be socially active, either making friends or finding and engaging with women. 

So from your description would I be correct in assuming you live somewhere one could term a well developed suburbia? As it sounds awfully akin to such a place, we have somewhat similar things where I reside, the soulless commercialism, the hollow trappings of shambling masses indulging in the most tedious of exercises to numb themselves further. Now there is a reason beyond this description that I believe this may be the truth for; 

> Since I cannot find any outlets that I like to pursue in and afford to do (mostly outdoor activities and sports (swimming, outdoor rock climbing, camping and hiking in mountainous areas, and also that gives an adrenaline thrill like sky diving and bungee jumping) I mostly stay at home wasting time and am hardly social.
> I had a real goal to look forward to once

This strikes me as what one could consider the "purgatory" of the modern European soul. It's somewhere between the hell of the sprawling "diverse" hives modern cities have become and the freedom and closeness of rural communities some others have come to find. It is only in the partial escape vector of suburbia that such a mindset can develop when compared to the constant edge and wariness of a city dweller or the determined mindset of those who escaped the clutches of the modern semetic world and fully grasp what they must defend. What you are currently feeling is the ultimate form of dispossession, an understanding of how grim the world is and how all that surrounds you hangs upon a knife edge, the threat of ethnic invasion and semetic machinations ever looming. You chose goals, noble goals, of self improvement but found over time the weight of the world made your shoulders sag and hope slowly fade. Does this ring true at all? I would also say your goals started mayhaps a tad too lofty though if you are indeed serious when you say;

> and it was (as stupid and reckless as it sounds) joining the YPG in Syria to fight against ISIS. I was very serious about it too. I started to engaged in physical exercise and was very disciplined about it too to get myself conditioned and pass the training academy that international fighters go through, teaching myself guns and weapons from information, manuals, and clubs, and looked up any information and articles about the current situation for foreign fighters and general information about the civil war in both Syria and Iraq.