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> To give a similarity to what this travel will be, as I interpret it to be, it would be like Lycurgus of Sparta’s travels and return to Sparta, or Peter the Great’s travels to Europe and return to Russia to improve the country. I want to be able to learn from other societies and return to mine to find some way to improve it.
Your ultimate goal is clearly seeking a reason, is to find identity in an age where the semite wants you to identify purely as a "fan" of some tedious sub culture or political ideal within the left or right spectrum, not a true Man, not a son of a particular homeland, not a Man who belongs to something greater. I once thought like you. I would look at so many different cultures and religious philosophies, desperately grasping at each one in the hopes of finding something, anything that would relieve the underlying feeling of dislocation. Gnostic Christianity, Catholicism, the Hindu texts, Japanese culture, just something that would help me find belonging. But no matter how far flung I searched I found nothing that was mine, nothing that I could truly say I belonged too. Until I looked inwards. I looked at myself, at who I am. I am a European Man. I am a son of Albion with a dash of Nordic and Germanic thrown in for good measure. I am an Englishman. I have my slings and arrows flung at me and for good measure, those who were meant to be our finest have proven time and again to be our worst while those who were worthy of such praise are naught but dust and echoes. But I still aspire to be like those true Men, I still aspire to capture the ideals of those who dreamed a better future for us. You must do the same. You must find to where you connect, to where your blood calls out to. Be it Scotland, Ireland, Germany, France, Belgium, where ever your blood hails from is where you will find your path to finding the Man you wish to aspire to be. It is your heart that is calling you home, that aches for something more. You are alone in this world because you are choosing to be alone, to find belonging in things that aren't yours. You must seek home again.
What I would suggest is this. Firstly seek where you came from, where your blood line came from and visit there first. Do no visit the tourist traps beyond any great monuments they have, you must visit the lands themselves, you must travel them and know them. Yes, some may consider you "another damned tourist" or such like but as long as you show respect and do not act untoward they will warm to you and may even be sympathetic if you share with them the truth of your visit if a chance comes up. You must soak up this identity for it is yours but do not gorge yourself, slowly imbibe it for it can be a heady broth if taken all at once. Build your identity from the ashes of the old bit by bit, intertwining it and intermingling it with what good facets you hold currently. Use it to understand your nature. Once this is done expand to brother countries within Europa, witness the sights and beauty it holds for they belong to all sons of Europa, we all bear the burden of protecting them in whatever way we can. Visit the beautiful Christmas markets in Germany's quieter cities, witness the beauty of the Nordic tundras, enjoy a glass of fine wine in one of Frances unspoiled areas, learn not only of your direct family but their brother nations, their strengths and foibles, their gifts and beauty.