>>/1225/
> Yep, hidden in a big shell like me. I started that way when two "colleagues" robbed me the PS2 memory cards, San Andreas and Tekken 5 when I was 11. From then, I started to feel less innocent.


Oh man I get that too. My moment like this when someone ruined my brother's toy lightsaber (just one of those chepo ones) and seemed to expect him to give to always give up his to him when he was around. I was 8 or 9.

> Those thoughts are disheartening and I wouldn´t wish those moments to no one. I didn´t get to that point because my memory has patial memory. It considers those moments not worth to remember just to not drive into those situations. When all of a sudden, one changes overnight, it causes huge turns in direction all of a sudden, this is why it was a big test for you.


I always figured the reason why it stuck with me so strongly was not because I lost nearly all my friends, but because how long it took it to finally complete its course. And the fact that there seemed to be a self contradictory double think on nearly everyone involved and sometimes on stuff that had nothing to do with the arguments.  That second reason is really what bred paranoia more so then the first  What do you me you never liked the twilight zone? We watched it last week!  Because it wasn't that people could betray you, it was that people could go insane seemingly for no reason and they might betray you too. 

> Outsiders help a lot whenever you need a bit of support for those hard periods. They may be temporal or not be as close as you were with your friends, but they help a lot.


Agreed. I'd say I am in that state right now. No true friends at the moment but I'm far from alone.  Though this is more of me just focusing more on my future then left overs of that incident 

> Hmm, that explains the little to no affection to social media and how you are here.


I suppose the social media part and my relative non maistreamness could've happened naturally do to the influence of a couple of my family members, but it wasn't a given. It left with me no ties and made skeptical to group dynamics. It was the thing that fully pushed me one direction. 

> I thought DWK was one of those few cases in which someone survives because of ponies. It proves that the meme is actually real, this show has saved lives and hard periods. 


Agree there. It did awaken a creativity in me that I had nearly let die do to the fact I had to be an adult though I suppose such a thing was a given when I started to spend time in the darker and stranger areas of the net. Regardless the meme is real. 

> And you did well. You cannot deny what you have been because it would be lying to yourself. Facingthem and even know your limits or personality helps you a lot for moving forward and for future things that you want. If you have passed those moments, then the rest is easy in comparison.


I agree. In fact I'd almost say it's a blessing with how naive many I've seen who are at collage age. Perhaps I'm overly cautious but trying to have multiple back up plans and not trusting people who even have really good reputations, but that's honestly better then widing up just deadbeat and getting proven a fool later. 

> What can I say? It´s not the first time I´ve read personal stories directed to me. I can only congratulate you for surviving and that those periods are over. There´s no magic nor divine things to solve them but the simple fact that you are alive is good enough to be relieved. 


It honestly was just ta give a background to my where my more edgy thoughts came from since we had talked about it before and it I could feel it creeping into my works a bit  especially with one idea . I felt it would be hard to explain the betrayal feelings without some details. Certainly agree on getting through it. I am relieved.