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> I had been thinking during this afternoon, while baking cakes badly because I was too tired to make them decent, that maybe I should I test that pleasure that parts of me wants so much. > It isn´t easy to take any of these two routes but at least, this is personal and I can resolve it myself, without relying on anypony else. > They would suspect that I have left Canterlot without permission but if I fly quickly to the Dragonlands without seeing me and maybe returning tomorrow, I could get away with it. My sister is the one who visits me anyway. My royal guard don´t usually check my room when I am not in charge. Maybe I can afford coming here late if anything happens. > I waited for the night to come anxiously. It costs me to breathe a bit because I don´t know completely what will happen over there and I normally hide those fears. I sent the guards to go because I didn´t need them near around. It´s somewhat claustrophobic to me having them all the time but I sent that order to secure the plan. > So it went like that. The night finally came and they obeyed what I asked. It feels good that they do it without hesitation. That pattern should happen more often… > Everyone was sleeping and even though my eyes are slightly red because of that lack of sleep, I could go out and fly over there without many problems. > I left the bed disordered and I used the old bed sheet whenever someone wants to check my room. Not the best trick but at least, that could gain me a bit of precious time if I had enough luck. > I closed the curtains and the window with my hooves and I consumed my energies instead in flying fast as soon as I took off so they wouldn´t see me leaving. > While the south is not as hostile as it was in the past, Ember doesn´t control all the dragons completely. They live under their own free will and I hope I don´t come across with anyone when I am there. > It took me a few hours to arrive at the Dragonlands because of my tired state. I am only driven because of my curiosity and the eagerness of ending everything now. The night should be ending soon and maybe I should raise the sun a bit for concealing the average pattern, even with my little energy left. I will leave it in the natural way. > Finally, after so many thoughts in my head, I have arrived to the land of dragons….and volcanoes. > This ambient requires an energetic spirit and I am following the contrarian route. > I raised the sun as I thought but it dispelled in the middle of the process. It cost me for keeping myself sane in these thoughts and not in what I should do. I left the rest for keeping the flowing mane and tail. I have to keep my normal image if someone sees me.