>>/7767/
> Although cuckchan thought it meandered aimlessly and had too many spelling errors co create a discernible story.

Really? Meandering? Was this the context of just the story as a whole or your writing style within these scenes too?

> I honestly don't think the self-appointed editors in the FiM thread speak English -- all their advice is flat-out wrong.

You have generally been the one who corrected us on grammar and spelling. What type of stuff did they say? In fairness, unless you were really dogpiled, it could have been just 2 or 3 anons over the entire thread.

 >>/7776/ 
> This part is really strong. 

I concur. 

> I mean, edgy immortals possibly are retarded edgelords in the rest of the fic but this is fine. 

It's only the potential for edgelords as the fic doesn't even exist, though I think tone here shows that it likely wouldn't have been simple low tier edginess if CB were to write it but a true emotional drama. 

 >>/7778/
> ... lost momentum.

Know this feeling.