>>/7816/
< Derpy!
Only today though. I wanted to lay out ahead of time how she was already distraught enough to consider running away to live a life of crime.

> new sentence, should be capitalized. 
So, I've been under the over-archinng understanding that greens favor a much faster, looser style. Sometimes with grammer, certainly with punctuation.
But it's a fair point and I bet I haven't been anything like consistent because I was typing as fast as I could think of the words to describe the image in my head.

> Some might claim the writing is sparse here for not describing the boss
The boss is an absolute non-entity. And since I hate creating pony names anyway, I wouldn't name her (I'd pictured it was a mare too) if I did write this into a full length piece of prose. She doesn't have another speaking line in the whole piece and that also wouldn't change.

> Tattoo?
Yeah. Sleeveless shirt and a dojo-specific tattoo.

> This is a wonderful detail of seafood being freely available
I'm hardly the first to consider it, but it does give more freedom to an author on how to address the question of food. Some, like Kkat of FoE fame, assume instead that ponies are omnivores, like we are, and eating squirrels isn't all that unusual. I prefer to think that ponies are herbivores, and not vegetarians. But with fellow sentient creatures that need fresh meat in their diet, some sort of compromise would have to be made ... or the writer assumes a continual revulsion when they try to talk to non-herbivores, knowing that at dinner time this other, will be eating ... an animal.
I appreciate that take too, but it's not where I want to go with my stories.

 >>/7817/
> I presume mankind in general in this setting is more familiar with kirins
No, only this particular human. Y'see I was pulling from a fan-fiction that got indirectly cancelled. In it, the Kirin were much more lion-like than pony, and focused on lightning rather than fire as eventually presented. In that piece they were also presented as noble in spirit, natural leaders. The dark flip side of this is all the mafia lords and cartel hustlers are kirin too.

> I am confused by the POV changes
Since this is a romance, the publishers & editors expressly tell you to spend half your time in each party's head so we can better see the romance building up. If you split it out by "post marker" you might see that I mostly alternate, so as a novel in that genre at least, it makes sense. Other books though, change POV freely and it can work fine so long as you know quickly both that you've changed, and who you've changed too. The Inspector-Gamash (sp?) series, for example.

> Was Anon mumbling about sleeping with friends of whitetail?
This was given away by tracking the POV, which never changes mid-post, and the whitetail comment was, I believe, italicized which sometimes is used for emphasis but in the case of whole sentences, means it's a thought running through the POV character, which is Roasting Hops at this moment.
This whole thing is a compressed "getting to know you" story so it's filled with misunderstanding by one, about the other.

I feel this misunderstanding is on you, though.
> Royalty? Nobility?
NO, no, no.. Read the next last thing Anon had been thinking to himself as he sank into his booze.
> You'd stolen 7 gems when you left Humanity. Three from your sifu, 1 from Johnny, and 3 from that merchant.
but since he's got some normal cash left over, he replies "human gold"
//Great. Now I need to figure out what the kirins call their money.
//This is complicated by the introduction of show-kirin, who are far too pony-like