>>/120930/
You are not alone Anon. 
I can relate, I'm older but somewhat similar situation and feelings sometimes.
It kinda sucks sometimes that we are all anon on anon board/site, but some opsec is necessary unfortunately.  Otherwise I'd offer IRL friendship. Same goes to anyone here, (except clowns etc.).
But we all have each other here, as best as we can. 
Prayers to you fren.
Have a blessed day.