Also when I say nothing I mean it. For the past month or so I've done practically nothing other than feeding myself, sleeping, watching youtube. It's obviously not good for me to do so little, and yet it's all I can do. Sometimes the universe is absurd and unfair like that 

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You're doing a lot better than me trust me. I know your life isn't perfect but you have had some major breakthroughs whereas I'm just barely getting started in finding some semblance of peace and balance