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I know it's complicated. I think you know what I meant by exerting conscious control over the ego. Like when you breathe in and control the rage and choose to react in a better way (again, rage could be preferable sometimes). It's a little funny for me to put it in those terms though because my worldview has always been very deterministic and I always suspected that that apparent "choice" you made was an illusion. That's just how it's always felt to me, but at the same time I've tried to believe in nicer stuff than fate because fate is kind of a doomer concept. Oh and I learned recently (thanks to mommy springbok's asmr vid) that determinism is actually closely related to stoicism, or rather it could be construed as being one of its roots. Which is funny because I always saw myself as the opposite of a stoic. The thought that everything is predetermined just makes me hate existence, not stop caring