>>/60068/
I got a job. Then I got too scared to get on the highway because I didn't even have a license (still don't, because the tests are early in the morning) and the fact it was summer break and there was a lot more traffic than normal made it more intimidating. My dad would've had me try my luck, as he's done his whole life (he survived 2 major accidents one of which put him in a coma for months, but all he knows is that driving is manly and that's what I gotta do). I had no one to drive me to the site, plus the idea of spending 13 hours a day there wasn't particularly exciting. All for what? A little more money while I still have to deal with all the bs? Money isn't the problem. At this point if I really tried to improve my life again I'd need help with EVERYTHING. Even literal breathing is an issue. A hypothetical war veteran recovering from a grenade blast is in better condition than I am. What am I gonna do, work 8-13 hour shifts every day (how? I can't even talk to other people anymore much less work) and save up for years just so I can move away from my parents? And then what? How would I even move anyway? I don't even want to lift my arms anymore, much less move heavy objects. All the times I've put in effort into anything (which there have been many) it changed absolutely nothing. Things are the worst they've ever been. Yes I made A LOT of progress in regards to my capabilities because when I was 18 I couldn't even leave the house. You think anyone gives half a shit? They see me as much more of a failure NOW than they did then. That's what I got out of all that effort. Now after pushing myself further than I should have for years, I'm supposed to get started with le inner work so that all these bags of flesh turds blood and piss can feel better when I'm around. Like lmao fuck off. Bend over faggots