>>/63933/
 >>/63933/
> sometimes I feel pretty optimistic, other times I'm horribly pessimistic. it makes me wonder if I may be bipolar. it's like one moment I feel like everything's going to be more or less okay, like I'll be able to survive by renting out the houses even if I couldn't work, eventually I'll meet at least a couple decent people IRL, start working on a project or maybe even sign up for uni, etc, and then the next moment I can't stop thinking I'm a pathetic impotent little failure and other people will never see me as anything but innately inferior waste and I was always destined to be a mere stereotype with no real agency to speak of and that even if I was successful neither other people nor life in general could ever give me what I need from them and... well I could go on for a few paragraphs but I think that's the gist of it
I imagine that you can see from what you posted, how caring about what other people think of you is holding you back from doing whatever you want