>>/6282/
> mate preferences in WEIRD (Western, Educated, Industrialized, Rich, Democratic) societies are primarily guided by lookism, tribalism and, for heterosexual women, heightism
Any serious examination of mate preferences should examine men and women separately. Men are overwhelmingly attracted to looks. For women "lookism" and "heightism" may be true when they are rating pictures, which is what happens in most experimental setups. In live mates, however, heterosexual women seem to be looking primarily for attention from other women and displays of agency and dominance. For evidence compare the porn that men and women consume or makeup to PUA techniques.
> the best you can get after years of self-improvement
Obviously, you weren't successfully improving the actually relevant stats. Have you tried working on your small displays of cruelty and indifference or at least on stoically not whining like the hero of http://the1585.com/imnicemen.htm? Have you tried to internalize the maxim that there is no irreplaceable woman? Have you tried lifting not for the looks but for the mental effects?
> This seems to me like a hardwired need of sensitive men which fundamentally cannot be fulfilled
Well, yes. The "one weird trick" is to figure out whether you are hardwired as a sensitive romantic type or if it is more a consequence of conditioning, social anxiety and mistaken expectations. If in the end you are not that intrinsically sensitive, congratulations. If you are and you can't or don't want to change it, maybe you can bring some technical competence to >>>/robowaifu/.