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> as long as you're fine with walking a thin line between confidence and mild emotional abuse
It isn't a line because the area of confident behavior and the area of mild emotional abuse overlap. By many accounts behavior that makes a man attractive to women substantially overlaps with abuse of women. Recurring mild emotional abuse may simply be necessary to sustain a relationship between typical heterosexual partners. This is something both male and female romantics reject or never even consider. One consequence is that when women unwittingly pressure men into "soft" behavior it makes men unattractive to them.