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Why does God keep bullying me. Literally everything I fucking do goes wrong in a way that's beyond mere coincidence or even luck? It's not fair, wtf did I ever do to him to deserve this? There are people literally conspiring to bring unimaginable suffering to mankind for their own benefit and sadistic pleasure, why couldn't he punish them? Why me of all people? I'm starting to think He's just doing this to me to make me hate Him so He can punish me further? Either that or He's letting some powerful entity do this to me. Why me?
I just dont care anymore.yea life is shit but i cant do nothing about it.The elite are going to keep making the world shit people are gonna keep believing stupid shit its not some god this is just the shit world we are living

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What were the chances i was born as a human? Seriously, i could have been a dog, a bat or a simple fly, but somehow by chance, i was brought into existence as a Homo Sapien given the gift of bittersweet self awareness, life itself is an amazing phenomenon already but life that is able question its own existence and feel all these terrible yet beautiful emotions with just nothing but chemical reactions and electrical firing currents of neurons is on a whole other level, it is no wonder that people believe that there is a higher and deeper structure to the Human consciousness, that this is no random process and that we were destined, chosen and created by some higher being. And to add to another layer of chance and luck i was born in the UK, a first world country, where starvation and war are foreign concepts, i could have been some poor Negro bastard in Africa, An Arab in the middle east, or a poor Asian slaving away in the sweatshops, but i was born here, sure things are still not perfect, this place still has many flaws, dead end 9-5 jobs are common and people lay on their death beads with regrets, that life no longer holds meaning, but it is not as much of a Hell as the others, at least for the time being, and to add yet another layer of chance/luck, i was born into an era where technology and science is advancing at an astonishing rate and Human suffering, at least at the material level, is becoming less and less, although we are facing the challenges of depression and suicide due to the lack of meaning to life now, it is the mental suffering that will plague us in this new era for the time being, but even then it is still an amazing time to be alive, i could have been born a peasant in the middle ages, dying at 30, or even a cave man where every day is a struggle, where i would have had to risk my life constantly just to get a meal to stay alive and keep experiencing.

It is just, an amazing feeling, it is so surreal at times.
but here i am in the 21st century where never before seen marvels are happening, sure i will never know the glory of Rome, or the ancient Egyptian civilizations, or the Ancient Greeks/Spartans, Chinese, Japanese, Persians, the simple life of tribes in Africa, pre-colonial america etc, i will have never witnessed first hand the major historical events of world history such as the french revolution, the american war of Independence, the crusades, the industrial revolution, the Renaissance, the first and second great wars, the cold war etc, and although these were glorious and terrible yet exciting eras of Humanity i am witnessing the most glorious and perhaps terrible but never the less exciting era yet, and although i am witnessing it as but a humble nobody, a middle to lower class citizen, my luck ran out there, i was never born a famous celebrity or great man, but even then, even though i am but a nobody, if i live my normal lifespan, i will have witnessed perhaps the most glorious and perhaps terrible yet exciting era of the our species yet, this is an unprecedented time, we are on the verge of the technological singularity where our salvation or doom lies, We are on the verge if expanding among the stars, we are on the verge of becoming godlike beings or our extinction and both are exhilarating thoughts, to think i could be witnessing the final chapter of our species and the beginning of the new or a new greater chapter for our species is some feeling, i am witnessing, we are witnessing probably the most important moment in Human history so far, what were the chances of me, of you arriving here? What were the fucking chances my God, it is amazing, and it is terrifying.
And i will be there until my death, whether i live for thousands of years or die tomorrow where the raging fires of Hell, the bliss of heaven, the greys of Limbo, the warrior's of Valhalla, a reincarnation towards another life, the void of nothingness awaits, or if i am to roam the earth and the universe as a ghost/spirit., witnessing wonders and nightmares, it's beautiful, life is indescribable whether you are a religious fanatic (Muslim, Hindu, Buddhists , Christian, fucking merchantish "perhaps same as evil to some"), a hardcore materialist atheist, An artist, a scientist, Male, Female, fuck it why not? other, a communist, a fascist, a national socialist, an idiot, a genius, black, white, Asian, Evil, degenerate, a drug addict/an explorer of psychedelics, righteous, Super A.I., aliens, gods, the God,a humble animal, perhaps even just a cell, we are all witnesses of our own life and this era, we are all experiencing this thing called existence, whether it is just us or if there are extraterrestrial and higher godlike beings that are there experiencing it along with us,here is hoping that we may contact them, as we embark on this journey,with our friends and families, and strangers, with those that we fell out with long ago, with those that stayed with us until the end, with our fucking bullies and enemies, and oh man, it is something when you stop and think about it for a while, all i, we can really do and should do is improve ourselves.

It is just, an astronomical thing to witness, if this is true reality or just a simulation, that we are all just the universe and existence essentially experiencing itself.

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