Hi /sunflower/, been a while since I last visited here. Time goes by so fast, can't believe it's been almost 4 years since I started visiting these image boards...
Today was a bad day, but there was something good in it, too. I feel a bit stuck and the annoying pressure of life again weights on my attention until I finally do what should be done. My spiritual practice is lacking in my opinion, but at the same time I feel like I'm making breakthroughs pretty often compared to the past, doesn't matter what I am doing. Every time I look back at the past, I always think about how naive I was. Therefore, I know how naive I am now and simply accept this while continuing to walk down my path. It is a bit infuriating that cheat codes aren't handed down or that the environment isn't absolutely designed to assist in one's development, but maybe it's really better that way, to nurture strength and wisdom and whatnot. My current state may not be where I desire to be, but the keys to my wishes are in my grasp, and it's just a matter of having to push a bit further without giving up to be free from mundane life. On the other hand, this could be a delusion or false hope, since the road ahead is still so eternally long and my achievements are always shrinking from the perspective of my future self. 
I don't really understand the meaning of anything written in this thread.
Just felt like leaving this for some reason, how are you all doing?