>>/3442/
> I don't think you understand possession.

This is the thing...
First I thought you are completely possessed. Just a mere agent of her will. A mere messenger. Your impulses your thought processes are controlled or influenced. I have seen that... Your shade came through "her domain" but behind the "antichrist layer" there was something that made me question this whole situation. I could not decide if you gave up your will already or it is just simply weak. When I said I almost envy you this is what I meant. Being able to completely give up your will like it has no value or for a reward that would feel as a good enough reward for it.
But it is not the case. You are in a sort of Limbo. While the Queen is truly influencing your actions she wants you to notice something...
Or maybe not... Maybe this is about something else 

 >>/3438/
I am completely understanding this angle because I am also doing something like this for a while

But the thing that bothered me was this
 >>/3411/
> she made me go through all of it, along with many other horrors over the course of my life

You called it "horrors". Not trials not challenges but something you didn't seem to "want to go through". I know that you mean "possession" means that you have "no say in the matter" but this way it won't be a proper initiation.

But then again I understand BO "critical mass" angle and (You) indeed are activating great forces as you walk. Maybe it will work.
My awakening processes also weren't smoothrides in the beginning.

I am also feeling that
 >>/3438/
> it is done

but... hmmm....
my expression is still incomplete.
Guess it will happen when it happens.


 >>/3443/
Yeah but not as simply as I thought he is. His owned soul contains something that cannot be owned but he doesn't see it.