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> Your soul origin stabilizes better in a female body... But only in the ancient female body. Current females are especially weak compared to them so being in a male body for spiritual pathworking reasons is better. The reasons for this are complicated.
Huh, well this kind of gets rid of what issues i had about being/looking like a male (won't go into specifics but i more or less used to get shit for looking older than i appear but it does give me... benefits? i guess)
> Oh don't worry about that. Once someone proves that they are after my life or just simply piss me off way too much for no reason I also activate some instakill ways by instinct. It usually surprises me also. Actually that is some of my parts I have to fix because as my powers increase "snapping" is not something I can do carelessly. I am also getting in touch with my "kindness" with kindness my energies will be less wild and even in the face of adversity I can find kind ways to dispatch my enemies.
ah okay, yeah the way i recall myself getting like that think i was some kind of psychotic killer who just kills anyone and anything solely for pleasure. it's good to know i seemingly only get like that as battle/bloodlust/mechanism thing while the emotionless mode is default but defense mechanism as well.
> Good. That usually places you at the bottom of the spiritual barrel. I don't know a single effective suicide ritual that works 100% of the times. Especially for you who doesn't even have demon origins. (I just got an answer that they were not aware that suicide rituals require some level of demon alignments and that they were fucking you up with those suicide rituals which promised ascension and such.)
again, unless i lose/get a limb amputated, get something like cancer/aids/etc. or am in some real fucked situation i will never commit suicide 
> Yeah being castrated and those shitty hormonal therapies really would fuck up many parts of your being. Getting a good enough human body was hard enough already. Don't ruin it.
i'm aware, idk if it counts or matters but i have been losing weight and fixing a bunch of other body issues/etc i got during the past year and a half. then again it probably explains a lot since i most likely should have worse issues or die from disease so i'll continue to be more careful with my body