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I want to try that thing out to sate my curiosity about the extents of cruelty life can give. 

But my body is finally stabilizing on it's own without me having to do whacky shit and improvised workarounds and I don't want to ruin it...  yet... I will get to that in a week or 2 if no bigger project comes across but until that... I would appreciate any further insights you have about the nature of karma