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> it's seemingly one way - no exit type deal
The "sea" is still there. While that is a "boundary" it doesn't meant you cannot leave it but... maybe the point is for you to understand you cannot leave that place anymore... I am not saying it in a nefarious way but you need to understand you are there because you are only on the "shores" yet and the "truth" lies in the deeper parts that you need to see no matter what.

> They sent me over to someone who liked or actually was astolfo to have me "reacquainted with being a female" and to purify me again.
Astolfo is a male that dresses girly but not gay nor trans nor anything. This is important because people/trannies/retards managed to make up some retardation if you are a boy you must like only "boy things" and if you dare to touch a "girl thing" then they are actually a girl that needs hormone therapy asap so she can be her true self...
That boy touched the barbie girl to look under her skirt or maybe serve as an additional giant soldier in his GIJoe army but nope he touched one and now he might be confused with his own gender  In kindergarten we raced with the boys who can go faster with the baby carts without the doll falling out because the other toys were occupied. And because of that the kindergartner after the day was over instantly told my parents how I definitely require dolls and other stuff because I like them so much... AND THIS WAS IN THE 90S WHEN FAGGOTRY WAS SOMETHING EVERYONE FOUND ICKY FFS Good thing my parents discarded these. Mom was real mad when they tried to convince I am left handed because I am just somewhat ambidextrous and usually use both of my hands but in like 60% I am right handed. Was weird for me realizing some people are unable to use both of their hands??? Wtf 

What I wanted to say with this you will have to get in touch with both of your male and female aspects. Realizing how the female is within the male and vice versa.



Just 2 days ago I got an energy... It was the energy of "complete sexuality". The OG human sexuality when we were not "divided into sexes". The problem with the "current human sexuality" is that it can never be fulfilled. The best you can do is find someone who is somewhat compatible with your sexuality but it will never be complete. Something will always be amiss something will not connect properly something will be always wrong. And that is creating an awful amount of "inherent suffering". 
It was weird in the past months. 
> Finally learn an internal yoga movement that moves muscles deep within the body
> feel the energetic release connect to the feeling and let that muscle into it's proper form 
> realize that the proper feeling was an extremely passionate loving relationship after sex feeling
> get the tfw no gf feeling
> think about getting a gf
> realize what I always realize that the only reason why I am alone is because I don't want a gf
> realize that the reason why I am not in a relationship because that would extremely disturb the way I can focus on my path 
> realize I have ways I can get compatible gf's with my "psychic homing" ability but if I want extremely complicated gfs I could get one from an astral... they like me too much already 
> realize the reason why I am not doing that because this "attraction" is just a built in human genetic thing and not my desire so once I "get my rocks off" and it's gone I would think about walking the path again instead of enjoying the relationship 

And now this whole dilemma that wasted my mental resources so my energies don't go into a "female seeking" overdrive is finally solved. That doesn't mean I am asexual but finally have a proper handle on the polarities. Especially how "lust" was able to literally blind me b4 this. It literally fogged up my vision because it fucked up the energy flow. 

The reason why I wrote down this rant so I can show how these sexual dynamics are not always simple and they must be not ignored especially as long as we are in a human flesh and blood body.