>>/6579/
It leads to some conceptual being of sorts but I don't know.

I am taking it easy today because too much bullshit happened to me today via mundane retardations.


It's so funny. You realize the perfect posture and slowly tune the proper tension level and then it turns out because of that several of your body parts start working perfectly but because of this the whole way your body operates changes.
I am able to interact with parts of my brain like it was a different entity and while it is something we all do constantly but our subconscious "masks it" so we don't consider ourselves several beings at once now I have to understand which parts do what and how and what they need to sync perfectly. 

The funny part I am not even "tired" as I usually got tired in the past decades because my energy flows are so proper I could go for days but the mundane retardation that always shows it's ugly side when I am not punting them out of commission angers some of my "old" systems or ways of thinking to such level I have to go and enter my "eternally calm seas" so I can observe that energetic curveball I am going through and slowly mend and heal it.

This whole way of thinking would feel so alien but it was my baseline thinking when I was a child. I had this and I know how it works but srsly. It's like catching up on 20+ years of energetic (mal)development backlog as a side hustle.

My favorite is when my body just releases an energetic discharge as a sign that I am "losing focus". Actually I am not losing focus I am just switching too fast between mindstates and parts of my brain is not used to this "new way".
I understand and don't understand things on such a high degree it takes me time to even word it for myself so a concept a conclusion can be made so my mind can use it as a fallback state. It's ridiculous. As much meta meta meta is not the "true" way of things it is necessary as long as the underlying problems are solved.


And as much this post sounds like I am complaining I know this is what I "want" deep down because if I didn't wanted it I wouldn't do it. I always monkey wrenched things so they can work on a little more and I can finally tune everything by myself. It's so meticulous which is something I forgot I am able to do when I let my mind fall into effortless focus or the "zone" but I don't know.

It's like making your mind and body understand that the past experiences are not the forces that shape you but the present is the one thing that holds us in form and we make that present. All the past is not even "real" they are just afterimages and giving power of those images is just making an even worse illusion that just disturbs the present. And this whole thing is just basic mindfulness and nothing more complicated.

Oh and the worst. I know my "true sight" is constantly looking at things and my physical eyes are not sure how "Important" they are and how much pressure they need so they can work as intended. Guess this happens to those that used a faulty eye sight increase magic for a decade. Like srsly the way the meridians work with the eyes is ridiculous. Figuring out the energies change the whole shape of your face and the way you naturally express emotions.